You may know that my husband is an Emergency Medicine physician. He sees it all and actually loves the thrill of the unknown when he walks into work. He has to make quick, thoughtful decisions, usually under the intense stress of medical emergencies. He has even confessed that the E.R. can be more relaxing than a full day home with all 4 kids! (Dude, I know. *side glance)
Doc Grif trained at a Level 1 Trauma Center in the Bronx. While it felt like a war-zone at times, he had some of the most powerful experiences of his career there. He learned how to handle the stress of the E.R. while speaking broken Spanish to his patients. He saw life beginning, with an unexpected catch of a baby, and ending, with the tragic car accident, gang violence or natural causes. He's now at a Level 2 Trauma Center which cares for critically injured patients, so the adventure continues.
Many times, my husband is able to leave his work at work. It's not always easy though. When one orchestrates the proper procedure, with their team working seamlessly to balance science and intuition, all executed in the most efficient timing to save a life, it can be exhilarating! The other part of the practice comes when one witnesses, processes and learns from the crushing reality that no amount of medical training can save every life.
In the end, we're all human.
This reminder of the precious gift of life hits both of us on a regular basis. Now that we have children, it changes everything. Our perspective, awareness and worry have all expanded.
Since you follow along my social media adventures, you know very well that the days with my children are filled with beautiful chaos. I love watching them grow more than anything in the entire world. They are amazing little humans that I am constantly in awe of. These love-bugs also make me want to rip my hair out because...
"Yes, you've got to eat A vegetable today, just one, PLEASE!"
"Ahhh! You can NOT jump from the couch, to that tiny-tippy end table, over your brother's head!"
"Look, buddy, the reason I ask you to turn the water off (for the 100th time) is because fish, turtles, frogs need that water for their home. It's wasteful to just let the water run while you stand there making faces in the mirror. You're cute and all, but STOP WASTING WATER!"
Ok, I got sidetracked. I've calmed down now. Again, we're human. We experience highs and lows, good and bad, the magic and the mundane.
Through Doctor Daddy's work lens, it has helped us to truly appreciate each day, no matter what it brings. We've also experienced loss in our own lives that shakes us wide awake to the fragility that is life.
The most recent loss was a tough one and hit close to home for my community at Exercising Balance. My friend, Crystal, was one of the mommies in my Postnatal Yoga DVD. I did my best processing her death through a little writing here. One of the things I've felt from loss is a desire to reach out, share stories, share support.
These moments instinctively make us hold our babies a little more tightly. They initiate a phone call to that person you've been thinking about but haven't connected with in awhile. They help us to get through the murky parts of parenthood with the reminder that wow, these kids are the best gifts we could have ever received. Maybe they inspire us to do the bold, scary thing we've been putting off and just dive in, because tomorrow is not promised.
I don't wish for this to be an ominous message. I hope that it helps you to see the beauty amidst the mess. Recognize the abundance that we have around us. Really see and find gratitude for the simple gift of TODAY and sharing it with those closest to you.
I'll always try to remain hopeful and trust in how my journey is meant to unfold. Because most of the stuff is beyond our control. Just like life in the E.R., there's not always a band-aid that can fix it. Sometimes, the random-freak-accident hits and it just doesn't seem fair. So, right now, I'm off to breathe in my babies, unplug from technology and enjoy more moments with them. I have no control over tomorrow, so I'll do my best to make the most out of today. I wish the same for you, my friend.
Peace, Love and Lots of Presence,
Amy